In a column excoriating Randy Moss of the Minnesota Vikings, ESPN.com's Jason Whitlock draws this interesting analogy:
Randy Moss is no Avon Barksdale. Randy doesn't love the game. He loves what the game can do for Randy Moss.
As many of my readers might recall, Avon Barksdale is a fictional character on the HBO series The Wire, and his head of the infamous "Barksdale Crew," one of the most violent drug gangs on the streets of Baltimore.
As my friend Steve Silver just wrote to me, I guess that means Moss isn't an "HONORABLE drug dealer." As if there were any other kind.
Gee, I wish I could write like this. Maybe I could give it a try . . .
Jose Contreras is no Tony Montana . . . Nope, I'm getting flush so I better stop and try again.
Ahem. Mike Piazza is no Michael Corleone . . .
Nope, too dangerous, even for somebody like me with an Italian mom. Better to quit while I'm ahead.
Well, if you want ridiculously offensive Jason Whitlock columns, there’s always this letter to Kobe Bryant (also in the URL field): http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=whitlock/041216
In that little gem, he states that the whole Karl Malone thing was revenge by Kobe’s wife, and just for continuity purposes, compares Kobe to Stringer Bell.
Jason Whitlock occasionally has good ideas, but mostly he just makes you nostalgic for Ralph Wiley.
Mike Tice doesn’t remind me of any “Wire” character, but he does sort of resemble the bartender at the Bada Bing who Tony beats over the head with a telephone about once per season.
Piazza may be more like Anthony Corleone.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Wow, that might’ve been the first “Godfather III” reference in Blogosphere history. At least, aside from “they pull me back in.”
Piazza’s more like Jeff Garcia if you ask me.
Ok, ok, non-fictional, but I couldn’t help it.