Yesterday, the Toronto Star's hockey blog threw down this challenge concerning a mock conversation between outgoing NY Islanders GM Mike Milbury and owner Charles Wang:
Tell ya what. Send me your best Mikey and Daddy "conversation" -- put 'em in the drawing room having a heart-to-heart, or in the car as Mikey is getting a ride to hockey practice, or wherever you wanna put 'em discussing whatever it is l'il Mike wants to do when he grows up.
Well, here goes...
[FADE UP]
Charles Wang (CW): [Searching inside the Nassau Coliseum] Michael, where are you hiding? Come out, I've got something I want to talk to you about. Michael?
Mike Milbury (MM): Yes, Mr. Wang. [Climbing out from behind home team bench, hair and clothes dishevled with a shoe in his right hand.]
CW: Michael, what are you doing down there? And where's Steve?
MM: He broke my wooby. So I took off his shoe and beat him with it until he went away.
CW: Oh no, Michael, not again! How many times is this going to happen? Did you get hurt this time?
MM: Not really, Steve didn't put up as much of a fight as Peter did.
CW: Peter, Lorne, Butch, Bill, Steve or Rick, what does it matter? You never seem to be able to get along with any of your playmates. [Shakes his head] That's it, I've made up my mind. If you can't share it's time to grow up and let somebody else play with the wooby, Michael!
MM: [SCREAMS and CRIES] NOOOOOOOOOO!
CW: [STERN] Stop it Michael, there's no crying in ice hockey and you know that. Besides, you've had the wooby for 10 years now and you should give somebody else a chance.
MM: [SNIFFLES and WIPES HIS NOSE] I'm sorry.
CW: That's ok Michael. If I can forgive you for the Yashin contract I can forgive anything. Did you really think you would play with the wooby forever?
MM: [PLEADING] But what will I do? Are you going to send me away like I sent away Todd and Brian and Zdeno and Raffi and Olli and Roberto?
CW: [SHAKES HEAD AND SMILES] No, I'd never do that. You know that lifetime employment is a guarantee with me.
MM: [SIGHS, RELIEVED] But if I can't have my wooby, what job will I have?
CW: [PONDERS] Would you like to run an Arena Football team?
MM: That might be fun...
CW: How would you like to build a new arena for the wooby?
MM: [GETTING EXCITED] Yeah...Would you let me play with the wooby in Bridgeport?
CW: Sure, if you want to! Why, I'll even let you watch the Long Island wooby at the practice rink, as long as you promise to leave Brad alone...
MM: [NODDING] You know Mr. Wang, I think it's time for me to give up the wooby. I think it's best for me, and I think it's best for you too. I've had it too long, and it's time to grow up.
CW: [SMILES] Michael, I'm so proud of you! To come to such a decision all on your own, you're really growing up. Now let's go tell the media about your decision.
MM: [LAYS HEAD ON CW's SHOULDER] One more thing, Mr. Wang...
CW: What's that Michael?
MM: Can I have a raise?
CW: Don't push it, kid.
[FADE TO BLACK]
